


Dear Sour Lover

by pbndgeli



Category: geliocs, neraphine
Genre: Angst, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-05
Updated: 2016-04-05
Packaged: 2018-05-31 11:07:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6467791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pbndgeli/pseuds/pbndgeli
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You suddenly took my arms and placed them around your waist. My guts twisted and I felt my cheeks beginning to get warm. You seemed to have frozen after I had my arms around you, but then you moved and attempted to wrap your arms around my neck.<br/>It took some effort, but you reached me.</p><p>//</p><p>I love you, too,” you quietly told me. I was glad you were a “psychic”. It made things easier for the both of us. You held my hand, the warmth of yours surging a little more life into me, lifting me up.  It took some effort, but you reached me.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dear Sour Lover

“And did you know you actually have to dance in the wedding venue?”  
“I’m pretty sure I know that. But I never danced with anyone. I just sat in my seat, eating my parents’ leftovers while they go on the dance floor,” you told me and I laughed.  
“Yeah, I should take advice from you, but I actually have to . . . dance this time.” I sighed then proceeded to make a gesture of me puking. “The thought of it already makes me sick to my stomach.” You then tried to convince me that it wasn’t so bad, but slow dancing was just never my thing. Still, you were trying to change my mind. I even tried making excuses as to why I was going to miss the dance, but you kept up with me by spitting out crazy responses.  
“ . . . Goddamn you with your important questions of what if’s and shit,” I said, causing you to laugh.  
“Well, I’m gonna teach you how to at least participate on the dance floor.” You got up and inserted your phone onto my speaker by my TV stand.  
“How?”  
“Quick lesson,” you said without explanation. You then chose a random song that blasted through my speakers.

_So you’re on the prowl wondering whether she left already or not_  
_Leather jacket, collar popped like antenna_  
_Never knowing when to stop_  
_Sunglasses indoors, par for the course_  
_Lights in the floors and sweat in the walls_  
_Cages and poles_

 

The music completely filled the living room and it sounded gorgeous. You dragged me onto my feet and pulled me close.  
“How are we supposed to do this?” I asked.  
“Just dance along to the music.”  
“This song?”  
“Well, this one is perfect.”  
You suddenly took my arms and placed them around your waist. My guts twisted and I felt my cheeks beginning to get warm. You seemed to have frozen after I had my arms around you, but then you moved and attempted to wrap your arms around my neck.  
It took some effort, but you reached me.  
“I’m not a good dancer,” I choked out, looking down at you. You smiled at me and I noticed that you were staring at my face. I was already blushing, but you looking at me made me blush more. Watching this idiot dance with you was probably stupid and embarrassing, but you did it anyways.  
“I’m not either. But guess what? Nobody’s watching,” you assured me and it worked. I was glad it was just us two. “That’s the good thing.”  
After a while, we both started to slowly dance to the song. We definitely weren’t the best at this. It was more like we were swaying than actually dancing. But that was okay.

 

_Come on, come on, come on_  
_Come on, come on, come on_  
_Number one party anthem_

 

Some little moments later, your arms lowered and wrapped them around my waist. You ended up embracing me. I felt you rest your head on my chest and I did what I always do; I rested my chin atop your head, enjoying the simple pleasures that you gave.  
You felt warm.  
My arm moved up your back and my hand held the back of your head. I noticed we stopped swaying. We simply stood there, maybe because we wanted time to freeze. This moment felt unexpectedly perfect, but I knew time waited for no one.

 

 

I can recall that you kissed me that night. You kiss me a lot, but this kiss felt different. You kissed me _good-bye_. We never did anything like that. We don’t even hug good-bye. It was a simple “See you later” or “See you soon” when one of us was going to leave the other. You know how much I hated good-byes because they meant that we were never going to see each other again. I hoped that it was one of those “casual good-byes” but I don’t even like casual good-byes.

  
Yet you kissed me good-bye anyway.

 

 

The next night, at midnight, my phone rang. I placed the book that I was reading down on the couch and used my glasses as a bookmark. I picked up my phone and it was you.  
“Hi,” you said and I had a gut feeling that you were smiling.  
“Hello,” I simply replied.  
“I’m at another party.”  
“Seriously? At this time?”  
“Well, everybody in college does it. And hey, to normal college students, this time is considered pretty early.” I giggled. “Anyways, what are you doing?” you had asked.  
“Just reading a book. How about you? Drinking your ass off?” I joked.  
“No, I’m actually outside the house so.”  
I mentally sighed in relief. “Oh, okay. Be safe. Don’t get yourself into trouble.”  
“Yes, I know that. You be careful, too.”  
“I’m reading a book. There’s nothing dangerous about that.”  
“You could get a paper cut when you turn a page, you know. And maybe, you’re drinking lemonade too. And you spill the lemonade on your finger, and then it burns. So yeah, be careful with books.”  
“Well, my books like me so I don’t think there’s a reason why they want to cut me.”  
I heard you laugh. “Everybody likes you. Even inanimate objects.”  
“Probably because I talk to them. I give them company.”  
“Right, I almost forgot you talk to your house, and your walls, and your furniture.” you bantered with me, making me burst out laughing.  
“Normal, right?”  
“Definitely. Oh, by the way, can you do a favor for me?”  
“Sure, what is it?”  
“Can you pick me up? I carpooled with my friend, and she’s staying over, and I want to go back home. Or at least stay the night with you . . . if that’s okay.”  
I smiled because it was always okay with me. I loved it when you stayed the night. “No problem.” I asked for the address and in a few moments, you gave it to me.  
“Okay, I’ll be there in a few minutes, lil’ lady. See you soon.”  
“See you soon.”  
Then, I hung up.

 

 

I started to drive to your house and it was a peaceful night so far. I drove through the streets towards the frat house. I turned the music up as I reached a stoplight. I was near the house and I couldn’t wait for us to crash back at my place. I was thinking of maybe trying to teach you how to play chess again. The first attempt didn’t go so well. Maybe we could just try checkers. I’ll find out as soon as we get to my house.

The light turned green and my foot pressed down on the accelerator. I should’ve looked. I should’ve been more careful. But I wasn’t and it was all too late. A car was speeding towards me even though the light on their lane was red. I assumed it was going to stop, but it didn’t.  
I guess your life sort of flashes before your eyes when you’re about to die. Not in the way I imagined. I thought I was gonna have flashbacks of me from when I was a little boy up to this very moment, but I suppose we all have a different definition of life and living.

I saw the first time we met in photography class. Then, the time when I tricked you to kiss me under the mistletoe, followed by you storming off as I attempted to ask you out. My head started to pound. After that, the Christmas when we went to go see your mother happened to pop up in my head. Then, the New Year’s that we got into a fight. My face stung like it got slapped in the face with the bad memories. Following those, the time where I told you I had to leave. The time I gave you Stark. The time where I made a promise I swore I would keep to you, and I did. The time you left me and even the time I fell in love with you again. All those times with you. And yesterday, when we slow danced. That memory burned fresh in my head. It felt like a hot ball of fire that was starting from my chest burning outwards.

  
What I found the most amazing of this whole mess is that I only thought of one thing: you.  
In the whole accident, my head was filled with you.  
A few seconds later, I blacked out.

 

 

I was out for who knows how long. I felt myself waking up, my whole body feeling like a chaotic mess. I had almost forgotten what happened, but then it all came back in a big flood of thoughts. Were you okay? Was someone able to get you home? Where were you? I missed you. My head started to ache again as I tried to focus on the blurry blob in front of me.

  
It was you.

I thought I was in heaven for a moment, but then I realized I was simply in the hospital after the crash. Everything hurt and I just wanted to shut my eyes again to drift off. I wonder what time it was. I recall that my world stopped moving for three years. How long did your world stop?  
But then you were there, so it didn’t matter much. Time didn’t matter.

A smile grew on my face and I wanted to tell you something before it was too late. My head was already starting to zone out. It was getting hard to focus on things. I felt like I was getting swallowed in the sea. It was getting harder to breathe, like water was going to flood my lungs, and my head was aching so bad.

You were crying and I wanted to tell you that everything was going to be okay, that I was going to make it through, that we were just going to play a simple game of checkers afterwards, but I couldn’t. I wonder what was on your mind. You were seeing me as a nervous wreck. I'm a broken man. Literally and metaphorically.

“I love you, too,” you quietly told me. I was glad you were a “psychic”. It made things easier for the both of us. You held my hand, the warmth of yours surging a little more life into me, lifting me up.

It took some effort, but you reached me.

I didn’t notice anything or anyone but you. That was what made it hurt the most I suppose. You were hurting so much because of seeing me in this condition. I had no idea how to help. I couldn’t lift my arm up to wipe your tears or give you a hug. I just had my eyes locked on you, reminiscing on our past. Savoring the memories was something magnificent, but so were you. I don’t want to leave you. Not again. I don’t want to make that same mistake, but I had a feeling I wasn’t going to last.

  
Everything seemed to ache even more as every second ticked by. I couldn’t stop time and hold this moment, nor could I hold it at our best moments. It’s reality, and a part of me was glad that I didn’t have to deal with it anymore, but the worst was that you would soon have to deal with it. Reality. Such a bitch.

  
It was getting so hard to hold on, it felt like I’ve been dangling off the edge of a cliffside for hours, just waiting to plunge into the ocean. I wanted to tell you good-bye but I hated those. I hated those more than anything. At least I wasn’t saying good-bye. Hah, yeah, like that’s the worst part of this. I was breaking that promise. The great promise that I made at the airport before I had left you. I was now going to break that promise.

  
I sank down to the bottom of the ocean and no matter how hard I tried to swim back up, I just couldn’t. Not anymore. It hurts, Bo. It hurts.

 

I knew you were miserable, and it was making me feel like shit. It was hard to see you so wrecked and I could not do a thing about it. It was my fault you were upset. I should’ve been more careful. I’m sorry I couldn’t pick you up. I let you down. This wasn’t the first time that has happened. I’m so sorry. It sucks that we could never slow dance at that wedding we were invited to. I would’ve loved to have that moment again, even though it would have to be in front of people, maybe I could’ve at least survived through that.  
I’m still so in love with you. I never got to say those three words to you, but you’re probably not going to hear it no matter how much I yelled out. Even though I suffer greatly, I thank the world for our little infinity. I have now joined the 10,000 ghosts in my house, making it 10,001. Now, there was surely a ghost that was in love with you. I want to hug you so bad, and kiss you again, and do every single thing that we used to do. But that’s reality for you. Just a big slap in the face, leaving a stinging mark, even occasionally leaving scars. I was the one that left the scar this time and I’m sorry.  
I am so so sorry.  
I should’ve been more careful.  
I just know how hard it is for you, but please don’t blame it all on yourself. You’re killing me here.  
But it’s okay.  
I love you, so it’s okay.  
Sorry I couldn’t stay for this “party” a little longer, sweetheart. I have to go. I’ll see you soon.

 

Love,  
Choir boy


End file.
